thirteen!

What happen with thirteen? yaa since December, 17 it becames my perfect number.
Actually I planned to post some quotation at November. But badly I got an accident. My lepi's LCD was broken. This is not the first time cause it ever happen 3 years ago, and enough to through out my money. So when I realize it was broken again I had much Shocked. I kept trying, calming my self, saving money and being patient. 
 The condition getting worse when the exam came, I'd read the material and some of them couldn't find out in books. I contradictory went to library again and again. But my time also limit. No no... not my times but the library's time (*I wish the library on my school can open 24 hours a day!!). I really disordered. When I need to go to lesson too, this make me very lag behind. Just if my lepi in here I can breath easily, just breath easily

~without my tube oxygen~

The more meaningful friend, Nadia, were always understand well my position. She always lend me her notebook, I am very thankfull for her auxiliary. When all of them happen I just realize one thing

"It's not aesy to survive life without my beloved lepi...

I love you pi, get well soon right :') :*"

That accident makes me late to post the quotations I had prepared, or maybe not at all. But then I get lost a little of my spirit right now. So I don't want that quotations, very Contrarry with what happen on my mind and my heart.

 In the beginning of November, or maybe the middle of November I said a very fatal sentences to my crush.

When the people say "It's important to be arrogant first, no matter you will win or fail". So without thinking I just said "Hai handsome! you must be more clever than me, because I'm never falling in love with someone who more stupid than me" What the hell I just said! even it's true but actually I wasn't supposed to do that. And finally ABACADABRA!! He does it so well, very well.

The exam's result show his rank is better than me. I dont know why, but I feel very happy . I laugh very loud until my neighbour room decide I've crazy *yes I am crazy. Well good job boy.

 2 weeks before exam I went to Jogja. I went to Baron Beach, in there a wrote a very beautifull poem with the tittle "a beautifull girl"

 poetry

the sud stagger taken by the flow

very pure water only seen from peryphery

far away to the center you will know

how that water looks very muddy

  

  A woman sit in the periphery

  Wearing a red soft veil

  Wearing a colourful sock

  Maroon, pink, green, blue and white

  With folded grey sleeve 

  And a joger pants

Her foot swift touch the water coast

Cardigan jacket tying on her waist

That woman sit with lapping a note book

Her left hand with a black watch 

Holding her little black bag beside her

And her right hand gripping a pink bolpoint very tight

Oh yesss.. of course she is beautiful

And She is writing this sentences... :p

Baron beach, 20 Nov 16

Baron beach actually is beautiful, but for getting a beautifull view you have to walk again by at least 30 minutes. And if you lucky you can go to the tower just like a mercusuar and whoops! you will see the beautiful and precious design of God.

  Then a week before Exam crazily I went to Surabaya. It's very hard for an elite backpacker to just live in same environment. 

"we need some refreshing before fighting right??" :D

So I took a walk with my boy friendS and my girl friend. The bonus is... I could join a simulation of SBMPTN in there. hehe...

  I also went to Royal Plaza which delivered Gramedi (Bookstore) big discount. Well as a reader I hunt so many. I bought a novel, a science book, and a short story kindergarden book. The price is only 5k for one book.

  Then... I went to zoo, to meet my friend's colleague, we laught, we joke, and it's very fun.

Taking this walking-walking makes me very tired during examination. But by this I could forget my sadness about my lepi. When the result of exam showed I was very happy because for the first time (and maybe the last too) my father could came to my school to take my rapor. :'D

 I can feel very calm and wise. Oh God thankyouu for all the goodness that happen in my life. You show me how to be a nice girl, strong and confident. I still save my last dance and tomorrow will be 2017 I will list my new target again. Ya Rabbi, please give me the right way...

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Infirmary

Some of yesterdays.. I got a long holiday. I have tired, lying on the bed, all day along. Yes, I almost dying. Maybe if he let me go, I would. And then I saw something above my head, on that white and pure room. Something very meaningful. I called it a friend, its name is fuss. This loneliness driving me crazy. Thus I took many conversation with it.

Hai fuss... I wonder, what are you doing there? Aren't  you tired standing over there all day? Well it’s ok if you’re comfortable. I have so many time waiting, and now I bored. Do you have any time for me? I gotta tell you how’s my life. Hei fuss, I don’t blame you. It’s not your faults. Even why i’m in here. But I should relize you’re a part of this.

Some days ago I joined some competition. But as usual I lose it. This girl is taking for a shit again. I know fuss, I am a loser (at that time) But I also know I do the right thing. He’s the winner and it has no effect at all except for one thing. So why he needs me fuss if I just a loser? I should be nothing. 

But fuss, he knows that I’m here with you, he knows our hiding, he knows I have to deal with some infirmary. Do you think he’s worrying me? Do you think he want to see me? Do you think he will come here? Why people just come to me when I’m in limit? Fuss, I have tried, but I don’t know fuss, I try to run away forward, more fast than others, but I fall. Now everything seem useless. I am useless, I am a loser. But fuss, I’m not blame you. It’s ok you can stay there. You can make her more strong. I’m not blame you. Moreover, I suppose to say thank you. You give me a lesson to be more careful again while running.

Fuss, many things happen in my life. Maybe I failed to show them I can. But you have to remember fuss, she doesn’t give up, she still fight. She still walking although her foot is broken. She will come back and she will run again.

She will fix everything well again.

Thank you for give me a rest,

Thank you for accompanying me

Thank you for the warm pain with all its values

Thanks Infuss....

Happy log “after all the shit she has to deal with lately, today has been one fine day...” now it’s time to begin. Isn’t it ?

 RSB Moestadjab, Ngk

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