ABANDON~

"I went to bed and woke in the middle of the night thinking I heard someone cry, thinking I my self was weeping, and I felt my face and it was dry. Then I looked at the window and thought: why.  Yes, it's just the rain, and turned over, sadder still, and flumbed about for my dripping, sleep and tried to slip it back on."

2 things that happen in terrible rain : She's very happy or she's very sad. Tonight I can't thinking well. I can't deny my mind messed up and my heart feel hurt.
I've trying but my result is not like what I expected.

"That queen is lost, over again"

I was very dissapointed with someone. She's older than me. I am a worker and she's my bigboss. as a worker of course I do what she ask to do. I do everything, every jobs that she gives to me, I try to did it well. I did more than others did. If they can collect money only 50k a day, I coulid be 80-100k a day. In every jobs my result is perfect. and I can say it's more than the target and more than what she expected from me. But I didi it alright with all of my heart.

And then the fact is very disappointing. How could I...? How could I get fewer than the other workers? why mrs? you also said that I done the good job very well more. I just absent 1 day, a day when you said a big day, a special job for me. Then I just told you that I've been sick and you can't accept my permission. Is that the reason? but mrs it just one day, one day. what about another day? 

"what I just did to you until you give me a little than others? just give me a reson :')"

It's enough to down me. The target I made can't realized. The things I dreamed can't happen.

God is this the punishment for me?

God I abandon it to you...

I don't want to stuck. Unfortunatelly the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future receds. possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.